Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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