it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
