i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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