Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
