I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Alive.
So much puke
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize