there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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