Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
