I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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