When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
