I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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