He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
