I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
