Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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