1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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