There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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