we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
