splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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