that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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