I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
