Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize