she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
