I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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