I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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