I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
