Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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