She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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