i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
BRING THE BAGELS
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
