And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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