We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
