Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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