I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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