He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
