I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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