You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize