come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I am morally bankrupt
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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