walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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