sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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