My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
BRING THE BAGELS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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