69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
