OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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