Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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