guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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