This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
