There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize