so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
