I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
