piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i permit you to call me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
