her vagine was all disorganized.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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