she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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