i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
