bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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