Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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