her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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