I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
