We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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