I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
