playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
