You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
