Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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