You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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