I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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